Intergalactic Web
by Jamille Shane
Summary: Nara clues her sister Nyota in on something.  Rated 'M' for some language.


Intergalactic Web

Uhura walked into her quarters and saw a flashing message light. She pressed the button to retrieve her message and then began to take off her uniform. It had been an extremely long, hard day. She had been on the latest landing party. She really tried her to best to be generous in her thoughts toward all, but the civilization they had visited that day were especially cruel to their prisoners. It was going to take some serious work to get that out of her mind.

The message came to life as she finished removing her uniform and stuffing it into the laundry chute. She then got her things together for a much-needed shower.

Her sister popped up on the screen and said in a conspiratorial tone of voice, "Guuurl, call me as soon as you _can_. I found a site you have _got_ to see. It is bizarre and crazy…unless you're already posting on it and I don't know about it. But something tells me if you were you'd have told _me_ about it. Bye!"

She smiled. Spock was still on the bridge. She knew he was going to be calling his mother that night after he got off duty for something or other, so she was free to spend the evening talking with Nara. She went and showered first, then called her sister back after her shower.

"What are you so excited about, Nara?"

Her sister appeared on-screen and she could see a baby swatting at something in her sister's hand. "Look, it's auntie Nyota!" Nara cooed at her son.

Uhura's face softened at the three month old baby and smiled. "Hi, baby! How's my little Connor doing?"

Nara held the baby up to the screen and the infant smacked at it vigorously with a huge smile on his face. He let off a high-pitched squeal and then tried to grab the edge of the view-screen and put it in his mouth. As soon as his mother took him away from it, his face split into a grimace and he started to wail angrily.

"Connor Julian!" Nyota found herself cooing at the baby. "Oh, don't cry! That mean mommy! She won't let you chew on hazardous materials!" she laughed.

Nara pulled the baby close to her, lifted the side of her shirt and quickly stuck a breast in his mouth. The baby quieted instantly. "You have _got_ to hear this one! I mean, you've got to see it!"

Nyota looked at the baby and said, "Wow, that really works doesn't it?"

She smiled broadly. "Pay attention to the subject at hand. I'm going to send you a link I found. It's kind of a closed site-"

"So then how did you get in?" asked Nyota, halfway accusatory. Her sister had always had the knack for finding back ways into systems. She received the link from her then and entered the site. She frowned as she looked at the banner at the top of the page. "Are you looking at this right now?" she asked her, amazed.

"Yep!"

"'The Vulcan Brigade'?"

"Read on, read on!" said her sister as she sat down.

Nyota sighed and wondered what foolishness her sister was trying to get her tied up in this time. She read the Mission Statement at the top just under the Header of the page. "'This page is for support of anyone dating, hoping to date or getting over dating a Vulcan. Click the dictionary tab for any acronyms you need clarification on.'" Uhura's mouth dropped open. "Someone actually made a page for people dating Vulcans?" she asked as she scrolled down the page looking at the different pages and their threads.

"I wouldn't be surprised if there were more than one out there. You know people like to talk too much."

"I see that now," she answered. One page's thread was entitled 'How to React if You're Pronounced 'Illogical''. Another one was entitled 'How to Break the News to Your Family' and another one that caught her eye was 'Sex…or the Lack Thereof'. She clicked that one, just curious.

"What are you clicking?" asked her sister.

"Don't worry about it," she said as she read the thread. It was basically person after person complaining that most Vulcans just wouldn't engage in premarital 'fun times'. And most of the people in the thread did not believe it had anything to do with a mating urge. She frowned as she read one girl's comment:

'I think he's just conducting some great big experiment and is trying to see how far he has to go to make a woman lose her mind! I'm a Deltan. I have sex. That's what I do! And he doesn't want to give me any! I'm cranky as hell and I don't think I can take much more! I can honestly say I think I'm about to dump this Vulcan!'

'You're actually going to _leave him_ because he won't engage in premarital sex?' asked another member. 'Yeah, I think it would be best for both of you if sex is that important that you would step all over the comfort zone of someone else so _you_ can feel better!' And the catfight was on!

Uhura quickly navigated away from that disaster area and found another. She read aloud to her sister, "'He Doesn't Even Know I'm Alive'?"

"What's that one? Oh, wait, I found it!"

"A member named 'Pekoe Tea' says 'I see him every day. We work at the same research plant. And he doesn't even know I'm alive. Someone help me!'"

Nara began to laugh. "I shouldn't be laughing. But I think it's strange that so many people are crushing on Vulcans! This is just crazy!"

"I think I feel sorry for Pekoe Tea," said Uhura. She continued to read, "'He is sooo fine! And the way he _talks_! It makes me go up in flames. His vocabulary and pronunciation is superlative. He'd give me intelligent LS*. Oh, I want to be an Amanda* so badly!'"

Nara was laughing out loud. "Have you read the dictionary explanation for 'LS' and 'Amanda'?"

Nyota clicked the asterisk next to LS in the thread. A pop-over window appeared with all of the explanations for the acronyms on the page. "Oh my goodness!" she said as her mouth dropped open. "An 'Amanda' is a woman married to a Vulcan. But what the heck is an LS?" she said as she scrolled downward.

Her sister was now laughing even harder. "'LS' she read. That means 'Little Spock'!"

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"Looks like there's a whole section dedicated to 'Amandas'. Women who've married Vulcan men, regardless of species. And there's a section within that section, 'TTC your LS', or 'Trying to Conceive your Little Spock'."

She closed the pop-over dictionary window and continued reading the site. It was like the proverbial train wreck. She really didn't want to read anymore, but she was morbidly drawn in. As she read on, she said, "Nara, you notice for every page there's some angry man or woman on here declaring that people's relationships are doomed to failure?"

"Yeah, and people keep dubbing them BBDVs," she answered with a frown.

"Yeah, like on this one, the title of the thread is 'He Wants to Bond and I'm Scared to Death' and everyone's trying to be supportive. But this one girl comes on and says, 'Well good luck telling him you're scared of anything. You're going to get branded 'illogical and superstitious' and he's going to dump your ass!'"

"Wow, I see that one now! She gets called a BBDV by the other members and the author of the thread is told to just ignore her and everything will be fine. What in the world is a BBDV?"

Nyota hit the asterisk next to the word, the dictionary pop-over page appeared and not far underneath the definition of 'Amanda' there was the acronym 'BBDV'. Nyota's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened as she shouted, "Bitter Bitches Dumped by Vulcans?"

Her sister laughed so hard, she had to get up and walk away from the screen. When she came back little CJ was over her shoulder being burped. "What the hell?"

"There's a whole explanation behind it. 'Bitter Bitches Dumped by Vulcans' are malcontents that come to this site intent on crashing every thread with negativity. They're either men/women who've been dumped by their own Vulcan. Getting dumped by a Vulcan is rare, because actually dating a Vulcan is quite rare. If you actually find yourself on the radar of a Vulcan, chances are he/she is _going_ to marry you. And by the time they get to checking you out with an actual mind meld, if you have defrauded them in any way, shape or form by misrepresenting who you are, you have the fine makings to become a BBDV. Don't feel badly for the BBDVs! The minute you lie to a Vulcan, you're going to get found out, eventually! Don't have that Masters in Intergalactic Education? Don't lie about it! Don't know a damn thing about desert survival? Don't lie about it! Do you find marital bonds in general scary as hell? Don't lie about that, either! Tell the truth at all times to your Vulcan. The best way to avoid becoming a BBDV is DON'T LIE IN THE FIRST PLACE!'"

Nara's mouth was now permanently open. "People actually try to lie to and marry someone from a race of telepaths? Are they crazy?"

"Maybe," said Nyota as she frowned. "I think I'm done here."

"But wait! The one I wanted you to see, it's under 'He Doesn't Even Know I'm Alive'!"

"All right, but it's the last one I'm looking at." She clicked back over to that thread and went all the way almost to the end. A member named CBaby said, 'I work on a Starship every day, I'm a nurse. Well My Vulcan is now with someone I thought was a friend. All of a sudden there's rumors that they're dating. She knew I wanted him from the start and now there she is with him! She stole him!'"

"That sounded a little too close for comfort," said Nara. "Starship? Nurse? Is that who the hell I think that is?"

Nyota's mouth was now the one that was open. "Yes, I most certainly do think that's Christine!"

"Now wait a minute, she doesn't _own_ Spock!"

Nyota couldn't help but look at the reactions in the thread to that doozey. At first, 'CBaby' was coddled and the other members agreed it was not at all fair what had happened. But one member popped out with:

'Excuse you! He was not dating you…ever, it sounds like. If he was not interested in you, why should she have passed him up? Duh, if he's that fine can you blame her?'

Another member came back with, 'Sorry, but if it were me and he wanted me, I'd take him. He's a Vulcan and he was interested in her, obviously. Was she supposed to tell him 'no' just to make _you_ feel better when there wasn't a chance in hell you two would ever get together? So you should both be lonely just so you can feel better? CBaby, you are one selfish broad!'

And the war was on. Uhura closed down the site immediately. "I'm not reading anymore, Nara. I'm done."

"Do you really think that was Christine Chapel?" asked her sister.

"I don't know. But I have the feeling that the next time I see her, I might be able to tell."

"Wow. Oh, by the way, I'm going to Starbase 12 in a few weeks. Do you think the _Enterprise _will be anywhere in that sector?"

"I don't know, but I can check," said Nyota.

"I want to bring the baby to meet Spock. Babies are great judges of character."

She smiled at her sister. "You're a piece of work, Nara."

"That's what I'm here for!"

_The next story in this series is not going to be a one-shot. I haven't decided yet if it's going to be very long on chapters, but I know it's going to be called 'The Landing Party' and yes, it will be a Spock/Uhura fic._


End file.
